She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
