I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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