I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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