I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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