I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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