Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
