dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
