Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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