I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
