Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Randomize
