From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
they need to just BURY HIM!
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
