It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
