yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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