At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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