honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I love you. Go after that dick
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
