very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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