So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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