I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
