so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
