I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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