I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
