we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
