Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
