Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Holy sore nipples Batman
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
