just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
