I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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