he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
