just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
