if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
