You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
