What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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