It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
two words: eviction party
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
