I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
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