i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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