the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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