okay pat passed out under dana's car
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
