Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
