Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
my poor anus
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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