I'm jealous of your bromance
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Couch. On fire.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
