I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
