An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
