Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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