Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
