My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
