Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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