I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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