I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Green mimosas i think yes
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
