I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
