You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
