then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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