And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
