he told me I talked like a deaf person
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
