trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
