One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
